The Nigh is End?
April 18, 2008
Well it took some time and effort for me to prise open the cover of this particular book. I had to soak the hinges overnight in ‘3in1’ and still ended up jumping up and down on the jemmy before the cover would budge. Was it really that long ago since I last updated the blog? Hell yeah…!
So.. personal life aside what about poker and more specifically my poker exploits? As I mentioned in a comment on SvcMgr’s latest blog entry, I have been mostly if not totally poker inactive for the year so far.
My enthusiasm for the game has swung from total boredom to utterly uninterested. A couple of times over the last few weeks I have sat down and said to someone “hey I am definitely going to play a game tonight!”.. but, by the time I have loaded up the software, spent 3 or 4 minutes looking around for a suitable game, my little bubble of enthusiasm has deflated and I end up closing down the site before entering a game.
Whilst in Denmark I did manage to play 2 games I think with Anne Marie on a site I had never played at before, it was fun but only because I was playing and chatting with Anne Marie also. I have watched some of you [Skype crew] play over the last couple of months and I find that more enjoyable than actually playing myself.. go figure?
I have tried everything I know to get my interest piqued once again, without success.
Okay maybe the last 2 or 3 weeks have been busy for me off line, what with going to see Anne Marie and bringing home a nice memento of Denmark, a dose of very aggressive flu-like ass kicking bug nastiness. Yet even without these off line distractions I still don’t see myself playing poker.
I am planning to spend a month back over in Denmark and remarked to Anne Marie that would be an ideal opportunity for me to play pro or semi pro online poker. The days Anne Marie was out at work I would apply myself to playing poker. I wouldn’t have the day to day distractions I am exposed to when at home in the UK and it really would be asking the question of “where or what do I do next?”
Yet I am afraid unless I shrug off this lethargy and fire up my poker engine real soon, then it will be an opportunity missed.
Can we force the issue? Is it possible to push against your wishes and force yourself to start playing again? Of course I can just play poker, I could also do a jigsaw or collect postage stamps. The question is can I force myself to start playing and begin enjoying it again? I have tried watching the guys play and even though it is fun to watch and chat with them when they are playing I feel no compunction to join in and actually play a hand myself.
Obviously for me something has soured regarding my game or soured my appreciation of the game. It is going to take some real effort for me to analyse what has gone wrong and if it is even possible for me to rescue my game and enthusiasm. Right now I am pessimistic over the issue and believe that it is a ‘moment’ that has passed and that I probably need to find a new entertainment.
I hope not as I really did have some memorable nights playing poker especially with my online friends, more fun online would be impossible to be had anywhere else.
Over the next couple of weeks I intend to make a last ditch attempt to try and regain my enthusiasm for the game and start playing on a regular basis once again. If at the end of that period I still find myself fighting to stay interested then I will cease trying. It is not fun, it is stressful when you are trying to force yourself to play and enjoy playing and at the end of the day I have to ask myself ‘if I don’t enjoy doing this why am I doing it?’..
Monopoly anyone?
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