Firstly all that poncey spring water and Darjeeling stuff.. pfft.. good ol’tap water and some strong Yorkshire tea is what yah need. And the Mrs Beetons technique is exactly what I would expect of a spring water Darjeeling dunker, serious dunking is a man’s world!

I also point out that unless you are drinking your tea from a soup bowl the ‘slam dunk’ technique is impossible without breaking in half the hob-nob first! And that is just sacrilege, also breaking the biscuit in half before dunking opens it up to extra quick absorption when dunked, so another nur, nur, nur, atcha!

You also didn’t dunk the ginger nut and the hob-nob at the same time so where is your scientific comparison evidence. Who was this stranger ‘off the street’ was he qualified to hold a stop watch on you? I bet not!

Nope the only conclusion to be drawn from this is;

You like your Nob wet and soft, I prefer to keep my Nob out of hot tea so as to retain its firmness.

You don’t even seem to show a fondness of nuts where as I love my nuts, even when steaming and tea flavoured they retain their integrity!

I put it to the jury, there is no case to answer here and the dissenters remarks be struck from the record…………..

“One pee…..one pussy feed and 2 hands later”